Poop idiots say to single moms
Somedays I just need a good, long laugh. One of my goals with writing and vlogging is to share a little happiness with others. To make the world a slightly less downing place and bring a little levity wherever I go. In the spirit of humor I am reprinting actual things people have said to me. Enjoy the laughs and feel free and use them on other idiots.
Why are you spending money on yourself? Take care of your kid!
Are you stunting his language skills by breastfeeding?
Don't you miss drinking?
Thank god you only have one!
Well, you've already made one huge mistake. Hopefully now you can get your life together.
How come he's so big, do you think he's too tall?
Should he be wearing that?
Didn't you bring more diapers along?
You should always bring extra snacks, I thought everybody knew that.
How come I can't give him sugar?
Are you feeding him too much sugar, fruit has sugar too you know.
Get your skin ready for fall
You’ve been enjoying your time in the warm sun, soft breezes and fun outdoor activities of summer. Now you’re noticing a few iffy looking dots and splodges. I feel you so I’ve dug through my home remedies medicine cabinet and come up with some easy, cheap and, dare I say it, sort of relaxing ways to relish in your skin’s well-being after a long summer of fun.
Vitamin C serum: I love this stuff not because it got rid of my age spots or miraculously disappeared winkles but because it really helps my skin absorb lotion. I have super dry skin that rashes and breaks out if I don't hydrate well. This Serum is amazing in that a few drops really aids my lotion's softening properties.
Coffee grounds scrub will rub away dead skin and fake tans to revel soft and luminous skin. Don't over do the scrubs, once a week is enough to start off.
Facial Mask on the Cheap: Oatmeal, aloe and honey full body mask can do wonders for your over-heated, over-sunned summer skin. Take some plastic Tupperware with you when you shower and apply 2/3 cups oats, 2 tablespoons aloe and a tablespoon honey. These are easy ingredients to find, cheap and very effective.
And finally slather your pampered skin with 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Don't forget to coat your elbows, the backs of your hands and your knees.
Fresh Juicing for Baby's First Cold
I love using herbs and foods to keep myself as healthy as I can. I went through some years where I was on antibiotics 4 or more times a year. Getting allergy shots every week. I was run down and my body needed care. Now that I have a son I know the importance of keeping him out of the cycle of illness. I need to stay healthy even more while running after a wild boy and part of a heathy home is knowing how to treat a sick baby or toddler.
Make sure your little is big enough for foods before putting them on juices and remember that fresh juices don't replace the moobags (breastfeeding) or meals.
Celery is a wonderfully cleansing veggie to add into your juices. Those thick stalks offer great bang for your juicing buck and have lot of B complex vitamins and that cold fighting champ, vitamin C .
Anti-inflammatory goddess, Ginger will help your little gummybear fight sickness and reduce vomiting. Adding ginger to your little's juice will help them fight a cold with vitamin c, choline and manganase.
Honey has great healing properties and is yummy so littles can take a spoonful pretty easily. Cold packed Honey has a natural cough suppressing ability for little gummybears who can't sleep from a horse cough.
Apple Cider Vinegar has amazing abilities to re-balance and adjust our PH balance internally to help little ones get better faster.
If your little is over a year you can give them Honey on a spoon to help with a cough. Slowly heat honey with ginger in a pan but do not let it get to simmering, and you have a super bug-fighter syrup.
Ginger, apple and carrot juice can be very sweet and appealing to a little sick person's tummy.
Celery, pineapple and spinach can be cleansing, tasty and easy to get down.
Apple cider vinegar, yams, oranges and yellow apples can be a satisfying, tasty and immunity balancing drink for littles and their mamas.
How to get more sleep so you don't loose your mind
I am a mom, a businesswoman and an overtired, exhausted person. The last week I was driving around a sick friend for doctor appointment after doctor appointment and thereby missing nap time everyday for my son. My little guy got short naps in the car but neither of us had gotten enough real rest and it was effecting my days and his sleep patterns at night further adding to the deficit of sleep. After the 6th day of driving around without sleep I had to nap. The problem for me is that the less sleep I get the harder it is for me to rest. I am dedicating the rest of the month to getting sleep, taking naps and trying to focus on health not just by eating veggies, walking more or staring at gluten with crabby eyes but by sleeping.
My body and mind need a rest and I’m willing to bet that you too could use a little more sleep.
How can you get more sleep? Drugs! No, I’m kidding. Sleep aids in the form of drugs actually backfire and make it harder for you to sleep in the long run so go the natural route.
Turn off all the lights, close the blinds and put on a podcast with a sleep timer of 2 hours. Lay in the dark and don’t look at any screens. I have the problem of watching netflix on my laptop before bed to unwind after fighting my son to sleep. I have noticed how much later I stay up when watching dumb shows compared to when I listen to podcasts in the dark. You want to occupy your mind just enough to quiet it but not enough to wake it back up.
Keep a red nightlight in your bathroom so you aren’t exposed to harsh, blue light from an overhead lighting source that will wake you up. Keeping your mind in the dark will help your body know it is time to sleep, even after a midnight pee. I have a little nightlight that does a cool light-show, so if my son simply must get up with me to pee then he has something to watch that isn’t a bright screen.
Toddler in the Berry Patch
Family is what matters in life and I love my big, crazy gang of a family. When uncle moose visited us we went berry picking. Boysenberry, Marion Berries, Blueberries and more means my freezer is full of fruit and my heart is filled with the awws.
Get everyone coated in sunblock before you leave for the berries or little excited gummybears might just run off without sunblock on.
Bring extra water; both for drinking and cleaning up sticky little fingers. Diaper wipes are a must or you will look like you've just killed a train load of bunnies.
Have you noticed the way women can be towards each other? The idea that women should be a particular way has been so ingrained in our own minds that we judge our fellow sisters in ways that would make us sick if we ever gave it any thought.
My summer’s resolution is to judge less, notice more and have kinder thoughts towards my fellow ladies.
Raccunt is my way of calling someone a c^nt and whenever I use the word I am reminded of the power of taking back not just words people have used to hurt us but the power of taking back thoughts we have been forced to internalize. The thought that we should somehow be better than men in all social graces yet never better in any real form. That we need to punish women who don’t fit the mold we were groomed to value. We are tricked each day as we women refuse to stand together and prefer to stand near the power of men.
Are we allowed to make the non-radical move of being loving without being weak? Yes. If you need permission to change and break free of the constraints we are buried under then here it is. This is you permission, your moment for self reflection and growth that you deserve. We all deserve.
Women need to stop being raccunts and start being awesome, bossy, sassy, gentle, strong and whatever else they want to be and we need to support each other. No one else is standing around waiting to free us from the chains of self hatred, of self doubt and librate us from tearing each other down so men can rise higher while we sink lower. Men aren’t the enemy but neither are women. We are not tokens to be shown off, temptations to be hidden. Women aren’t mean girls because we have nothing better to be we are mean girls because we loose the will to strive, to be greater than our start.
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