Is it you or are you surrounded by assholes?
Having kids really does show you what you're made of. It also shows you what the people nearest to you are really focused on.
How do you live an authentically happy life? There are a lot of aspects to being happy, one of the big ones for me is Being Around Like Minded People. If your life is a lovely quilt then you need to create the pattern of love by cutting out people that make your world ugly. For example, I went on a trip and the weather dropped 25 degrees and I had forgotten to leave my heat on. So I naturally asked around to see who could drop by my place and turn on the heat. Only one person was happy to help me and it really made me think. This was a chance to learn a really valuable lesson: don't surround yourself with people who take and don't give.
Several years ago I had a New Years resolution of being more selfish. It was a great journey of learning about setting boundaries and putting joy before unnecessary help. Now I really understand that I can't be loving towards my family if I'm not loving towards myself.
One of the biggest eye openers I had in my first year of parenting was that I was kind of surrounded by assholes. Don't get me wrong, I can be an a-hole too; we all have our bad days when we aren't living up to the kind of people we know we can be. But as I really looked around my life I realized how many people were just not kind to be around.
What is the last nice thing someone said to you? As I have had different phases of clearing out friends I have really learned to think and listen. Often I discover that someone in my life has not sad a single nice thing to or about me for years.
Who would water your favorite plant if you went away? I know this sounds silly, but give it some thought. Who would water your plant? It is not about finding people who will do things for you but having people who want to see you happy.
Are you happier after spending time with your friends? This can be a painful answer to have to give. Sometimes you will realize you feel worse after spending time with a friend. One close friend of mine was always subtlety putting me down so I would feel bad after spending any time with them but I could never quite put my finger on why.
It is surprising to realize how many people around us aren't really nice people. I talk with other moms and it is a common feeling. We are all busy, sure. We're all a bit distracted, ok, but are we really all kind? Practice kindness in your life towards your children, your family and yourself but don't accept anything less than kindness from your friends. Is it you or are you surrounded by assholes?