Know yourself to know love
Allow me dear readers to go further by saying I'm single. I've got a horrible picker. My ex-spousal equivalent was a cruel SOB and most men I date are narcissistic dirt-bags. So the fault lies with me. However, I've gained some disturbing insight into ways we create our own barriers to love. Commitment phobia comes in all shapes. My son's dad actually twitched and turned green when the word love came up.
You have to know what you want to get it. You have know yourself to know what you want.
Finding deep and lasting love has a whole lot to do with timing. Now that sucks if your timing is not now but your desire says jump for it.
Evaluate what you;
Want: Do you really want to be in a relationship? Do you really want to be married? If so what do you want from a partner? Be detailed. If you want an emotionally supportive person do you mean someone funny, someone who verbally supports you?
Do you want someone who helps out financially? If so do you want someone who can stay home and help reduce daycare costs and support your work or do you want someone who loves their job and can support you at home?
How about wanting someone who can cook? Who likes to budget and do the shopping? What do you really want out of a marriage?
Need: What, at the end of the day, do you need from your partner? This is one of the hardest questions you have to ask yourself. What you need strips away all the extra social conditioning, all the ego driven desires and leaves you with what will make you happy. Happiness frightens some people but if you are really ready to settle down happiness has got to be your number one priority for your whole family.
Offer: Okay, big pants, what do you have to offer such an awesome-sauce partner? Self-reflection can be difficult on a gentle ego. But you need to do the work because a good partner is not going to do it for you. Take a good, long look at your life. Do you have room for a truly honest and intimate partner? You have to ask yourself if you have the ingredients for a great relationship.