The First Trimester
How do you feel about becoming a parent? Spend a little time each weekend thinking about this change. A good idea, if it helps, is writing out your changing feelings. Be honest and share them with your hubby or wife. Communication and openness will take you a long way in the first trimester. For single parents the lines of communication are just as important; focus on your support network and expressing your own feelings and thoughts.
A neater opportunity to come together and grow as family is rarely offered. Pregnancy gives us the time and inclination to open our hearts to both our own intentions and the feelings and intentions of those around us. For single moms who haven't had the time to prepare for getting pregnant this is also a vital time to look inwards and decide how you feel. To begin the process of welcoming this amazing event into your life.
Don't worry too much at this stage about how much and in what ways your life will change with a baby. Spend this early part of your pregnancy focusing on your health and well being. You can experience this in a loving way while understanding that you will be a good parent even if the father of your child doesn't want to be involved in this beautiful time (it is, deeply and truly, his loss).
I experienced rolling, undulating waves of nausea for all but two months of my pregnancy. When the nausea hit me it was so strong it took my breath away. Salted nuts helped me deal with the desire to vomit without going the cracker route before I wanted to make my baby news public. Plus, the nuts offer a lot more nutrients than crackers.
Chicken was a super no-go for me until my third trimester. Even the hint of chicken skin sent my tummy into knots. My desire for milk started at the end of my first trimester and went full hog, reaching a peak of 24 cups a week (it was as frightening as it sounds), by the last few months!
I had really godawful sinus related headaches the first trimester and into the very beginning of my second trimester. They were splitting, almost as bad my aura migraines. Sudifed, only the name brand stuff with no added pain killers were safe, and nasal rinses were the only things that helped me not scream. One issue I had was to avoid taking the decongestant before bed as it hopped me up too much and I could not sleep.
Not fitting pants:
I had emergency surgery just when I found out that I was expecting and the side effect of the surgery was a serious, serious case of the tummy bloat for weeks. I came out of the emergency room and couldn't fit any of my pants, so it was a sort of insta-pregnancy tummy. Being the frugal (cheap-ass) that I am I refused to buy anything maternity. Instead I bought some nice looking skirts with elastic waists that I could still wear after giving birth.
How do we stay focused and joyous during this wondrous time, especially if we are surprised?
For the single mommas the first trimester is often a time of reflection and decision making. Allow yourself emotional space to grow in excitement, to grow in understanding and to allow the light and joy in of such a beautiful gift.