Spending time when it matters
where it matters for the holidays
Between in-laws, divorced parents, siblings, friends and work obligations where and how we spend our holidays can feel out of our control. Here's the secret, it is totally in our control and you can make whatever decision maximizes your holiday happiness.
It always surprises me how easily we can all displace our own, even well honed, sense of self to oblige those we feel need to be pleased. We please no one by pleasing everyone and we only enrage our own well-being by refusing to take up the warrior's role of fighting for our needs and desires.
Start by expressing yourself. Really, that is all you need to begin with. Be brave enough to not fear the future or hang on to the past. Be happy to express your needs for a happy and mellow and well loved holiday. You deserve to enjoy your time, it is precious and good for everyone around you that you are happy. Sadness and anger are contagious. Joy and lightness of being is also contagious; you will infectiously spread your holiday joy by being fearless and expressing yourself.
Family: Is there a tradition you would like to start or traditions you would like to break with?
Friends: Would spending time with friends increase your holiday joy more than spending it with family disputes?
Vacation: If this time of year is one of the few times you can get away from it all don't feel guilty for choosing a bit of rest in a snowy cabin or on a sunny beach over stressful and loud days filled with the rush of wrapping paper and sick kids.